If you’re reading this, odds are you are thinking about divorce, in the middle of a divorce, or already divorced, but still dealing with issues.
No matter what stage you’re in, if you are representing yourself, I don’t have to tell you how difficult a divorce is to manage.
Am I right?
I mean, it’s hard enough when you do have an attorney. I describe the process of going through a contested divorce to clients like this:
“Divorce is a rollercoaster…you are going to have your share of ups and downs, so strap in. “
When I talk about divorce, my mantra is that if you can afford an attorney, you should get one. If you can’t, get a divorce coach. A coach is not a substitute for a good attorney, but it’s the next best option.
You need someone to help you, other than family and friends.
A divorce coach is going to be less expensive than an attorney. It’s true, anyone worth his or her weight in salt will cost money. But, a coach doesn’t do everything an attorney does, which is why it’s cheaper.
How is a coach different from an attorney?
As a coach, they are not directly representing you, which means they are not charging you for every letter, phone call, or court appearance that an attorney would be charging for.
There is no way around it; if you want help to get professional help during your divorce, you will have to spend some money.
What Will A Divorce Coach Do For Me?
A divorce coach is exactly what it sounds like…a coach. They are there to guide you through the ups and downs of the divorce process. They are not there to “represent you” in court or in any other official capacity. In other words, the court won’t even know you have a divorce coach.
Many divorce coaches are not attorneys. I happen to be one, which I find gives me a unique approach to helping people. I can give you guidance from an attorney’s point of view. I can give you insight on how to act when you go to court. I can tell you what issues to focus on and how to approach your case from a legal perspective.
A divorce coach is an integral part of your divorce team. Here are five reasons why you should consider one if you don’t have an attorney.
1. You need someone to give you an unbiased, objective opinion.
When you’re getting divorced, you need a solid support network. Family and friends are important, but they can only give you part of what you need. They are naturally biased…because they are your family and friends. A divorce coach will give you unbiased opinions based on objective information to help guide you.
2. You have a resource for when you need guidance and want to talk strategy.
A divorce coach can strategize and help you navigate each phase of the process. Not so much for the legal aspect of the divorce, but for everything else, such as emotional decisions and how to respond to difficult spouses, etc.
3. A divorce coach is a professional who is on standby when you need questions answered quickly.
Like an attorney, a coach is a professional who is there when you need them. You may go for a period where you don’t have many questions, but there will be periods during the divorce where you will have many questions, and want to talk with your coach on a daily basis. It’s nice to know your divorce coach is there when you need him/her, as opposed to having questions and spending hours online searching for answers.
4. A coach is cheaper than hiring an attorney.
Any professional will cost money. There’s a difference between retaining an attorney for $5,000 and having to replenish that retainer when it runs out until your divorce is over, which can take more than one year and hiring a divorce coach to help guide you and answer questions as you represent yourself. Every coach has their own rates, but because they are not writing letters, making phone calls to other attorneys and the court and not representing you in court appearances, the investment will be much less than an attorney.
5. Divorce is too difficult to go at it alone.
Be honest…do you really want to represent yourself without an attorney and a divorce coach? It’s understandable if you don’t have the thousands of dollars to retain an attorney.
But, unless you are extremely savvy and confident in your abilities to go to court, learn the rules of evidence/procedure and negotiate a reasonable and fair settlement, you should seriously consider investing in a coach.
Yes, it costs money, but so does most things in life. Nobody wants to get divorced, but if you have to go through the process, go through it with a proper support network so you come out the other side prepared to succeed and move on.
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